As You I've Felt The Same
by November Rain 19
Summary: Daisuke angst. A little bit of Daisuke/Miyako, sort of.


Be Like That Author's Notes: I needed to take a break from the million and one other things I'm writing. To do so, I decided to write a Daisuke/Miyako (sort of.) Once again, my fondness for odd couples shines through. Sort of AU, as in the kids never got their digimon or digivices. Daisuke and Miyako are ~13. Song fic. 

Disclaimer: I don't own digimon, the song 'Simon' by LifeHouse, or 'The Hunchback of Notre Dame' by Victor Hugo. I merely borrow them and twist them in ways not intended for their original purpose. 

Dedication: For Hunter and Nanaki Lioness. Both of whom are too kind with their words. This is my thank you for all the wonderful reviews they have given me.   
  
  


As You I've Felt The Same   
by Melissa 

  
  
  
  
  


_Catch your breath_   
_Hit the wall_   
_Scream out loud_   
_As you start to crawl_   
_Back in your cage_   
_The only place_   
_Where they will_   
_Leave you alone_

Daisuke's back hit the brick wall, as he fought to supress a cry. If he made a sound, they would just beat on him harder. There were four or five of them, he couldn't be sure. The fury of punches and kicks had affected his ability to keep track. 

His body had not yet fully healed from the last attack. Usually he had longer to recover, but not this time. 

The sound of flesh hitting flesh and the crack of bones fracturing, or possibly breaking, drowned out the cruel laughter of his tormentors. 

Everything hurt. He silently prayed to anyone who would listen that the beating would be over soon. 

As swiftly as he had been ambushed, the hits stopped coming and his attackers vanished. Cracking open his badly swollen eyes, he caught a glimpse of the boys retreating in the distance. Unable to support himself any longer, his knees buckled and gave way. He sunk down to the ground, breathing heavily. He turned his head and spat, noting that the saliva was tinged with blood. 

'At least they didn't knock out any teeth this time,' he thought. 

_'Cause the weak will seek the weak_   
_Until they've broken them_   
_Could you get it back again_   
_Would it be the same_   
_Fulfillment to their lack of strength at your expense_   
_Left you with no defense_   
_They tore it down_

Daisuke looked around. It was early evening and the street lamps had just started to come on. Had he the energy to cry, he would have, but the physical pain numbed out the emotional pain he was feeling. He couldn't understand why people could be so cruel. Just because he was different, and didn't act like the other kids. 

_And I have felt the same_   
_As you, I've felt the same_   
_As you, I've felt the same_

All we really want is someone who can empathize with us. To say, 'I've been there,' or 'I know exactly how you feel.' To Daisuke's recollection, no one had ever said that to him. In fact, no one ever said much to him. Being an outcast, a pariah, was an extremely lonely existence. The only attention he ever got was the constant beatings. It wasn't as if he had other pariahs to sympathize with. He was the only one. 

Slowly, he shifted to his knees and attempted to stand. He wobbled for a moment and needed to place his hand on the wall for support. He was only a couple of blocks from his house, but he inwardly groaned at the distance he had to go on his hurt legs. 

Sighing slightly, he started limping in the direction of his home. 

_Locked inside_   
_The only place_   
_Where you feel sheltered_   
_Where you feel safe_   
_You lost yourself in your search to find_   
_Something else to hide behind_

He unlocked the door and stumbled through into the living room. It was quiet, signaling that no one was home. Not that Daisuke minded, because he couldn't bear to face his parents or sister right now. His mother would scream at the sight of him and be outraged about the beating he received. His father would just say he needed to be more assertive and stand up for himself. His sister would laugh. 

He walked down the hallway towards his room. Every step brought new waves of pain. Upon reaching his door, he turned the knob and it opened with a creak. He stumbled forward and onto his bed. He lay on his stomach, breathing heavily from the exertion. 

He glanced around the room. It was dark, and blissfully so. The window was shut with the curtains drawn. Neither sound nor light could penetrate his 'fortress.' 

It reminded him of when he was little and he would take blankets and make himself a fort. He could stay inside for hours, peaking at the outside through the cracks. 

He had always thought that he was different, that he would never fit in. A few years ago, he made up this loud mouthed personality to hide behind. He thought maybe people would like him if he pretended to be someone he wasn't. They didn't seem to like that personality either. 

He briefly thought that this is how Quasimodo must have felt. Watching the world pass by and never being able to be a part of it, from high atop the cathedral of Notre Dame. Quasimodo found his salvation of a young gypsy dancer known as La Esmeralda. She was his universe. 

A smile tugged at Daisuke's lips as he thought of his La Esmeralda. She took the form of a lavender haired girl who was fluent in computers. She was the only one who had ever been kind to him, who wasn't afraid to be seen with him. 

Things never seemed so bad when she was around. 

_The fearful always preyed upon your confidence_   
_Did they see the consequence_   
_When they pushed you around_   
_The arrogant build kingdoms made of different ones_   
_Breaking them 'till they become_   
_Just another crown_

After resting for a little while, Daisuke sat up. He opened his night stand drawer and withdrew some antiseptic and cotton. Removing his shirt, he went about cleaning his wounds. Fresh purple bruises were now along side the old grey/green colored ones. Both eyes were black. His nose was most likely broken and his lip was split. Various cuts and scrapes had wept bright red blood. 

_And I have felt the same_   
_As you, I've felt the same_   
_As you, I've felt the same_

While treating his injuries, his mind began to wander. For the life of him, Daisuke couldn't understand why he was so violently disliked. 

He hissed slightly as the aneseptic burned a cut. It seemed that he was incapable of feeling anything other than pain. Incapable, or just unable. 

_Refuse to feel_   
_Anything at all_   
_Refuse to slip_   
_Refuse to fall_   
_Can't be weak_   
_Can't stand still_   
_Watch your back_   
_'Cause no one will_

For the longest time he tried to be angry. Anger felt better than misery. He just didn't have the energy to be angry though. He wanted to harden himself against the outside world. If they didn't care about him, why should he care about them? 

But every time he resolved himself to hate the world, he would some how run into her. Her smile, her laugh, made everything in his life a little less painful. She was his saving grace, the only thing that stands between him and utter destruction. 

_You don't know why they had to go this far_   
_Traded your worth for these scars_   
_For your only company_   
_Don't believe the lies they have told to you_   
_Not one word was true_   
_You're alright_   
_You're alright_   
_You're alright_

Standing up, he made his way over to the mirror that hung on the back of his door. He looked at his body in the mirror, gazing at the various wounds and scars. They were his only company, the only ones that were with him constantly. 

Tears sprung to his eyes as he watched himself. Self doubt had once again wormed its way into his mind, as it so often did after the beatings. All he could think was maybe everyone else was right. Maybe he was worthless. Maybe he was annoying. Maybe he didn't deserve to live..... 

He shook his head violently, trying to ward off the hot tears that were forming at the corners of his eyes. He sighed defeatedly. He walked over to his window and peeked through the curtains. He noted that the sky had darkened considerably. Little dots of white could be seen against the night sky. 

He suddenly wanted to see more stars. He had spent so many nights praying to them, wanting so badly for them to end his suffering. 

Putting a clean shirt on, he left his house and went down the street towards the park. Daisuke always went after dark, because no one else would be there. 

It was usually a five minute walk, but this time it took him almost 15 minutes because of his injuries. He made his way to the center of the park. There he took purchase atop his favorite picnic bench. He sat hunched over, his forearms resting on his lap as he craned his neck back to look at the night sky. 

A short time had passed when Daisuke's keen hearing picked up the soft sound of footfalls on grass. He thought perhaps it was someone who came to give him another beating. He didn't care though. He closed his eyes and waited for the inevitable blows to come. 

Miyako was on her way home from a help session with Koushiro. Deciding to take a shortcut, she cut through the park. As she walked towards the center, she could make out the silhouette of someone sitting on one of the tables. As she got closer, she saw it was Daisuke. 

She smiled slightly, for she hadn't seen her friend in quite a while. The nearer she got to him though, the more her smile faded. In the dim lamp light she could see the marks on his face and legs. The shock caused her to cry out. 

"Daisuke! Are you okay??" 

He felt a blush rise in his cheeks as he realized who it was. He diverted his attention from the sky and took a sudden interest in the ground at the sound of her voice. "G-Gomen, Miyako. I..I thought you were someone else." 

Her eyes began to fill with tears as she beheld him. "What happened to you?" she whispered as she climbed the table to sit next to him. 

"The same thing that always happens," he said, the tears now starting to fall. He felt ashamed for crying in front of her, but he couldn't stop it. 

She reached out for him but then hesitated. She didn't want to hurt him anymore than he had been already. She decided the small amount of pain would be worth it to let him know he wasn't alone. Placing an arm around him, she drew him to her, letting his head rest upon her shoulder. 

Daisuke sobbed uncontrollably. Miyako could do nothing but hold him. 

When he had cried himself out and the sobs slowed, Miyako spoke in a soft voice. 

"You want to know something, Daisuke?" 

"What's that?" he asked, sniffling slightly. 

"I've felt the same as you. Alone, scared, miserable. I've felt it all. Being a computer geek doesn't exactly put you in the running to win any popularity contests. I've never been beaten like you have, but I know the place you are in all too well." 

Daisuke couldn't believe what he had heard. She knew exactly what he was going through. 

She brought her other hand up and placed it gently against his bruised cheek. He closed his eyes, savoring the contact. The bliss he was feeling far outweighed the pain caused by the touch to his damaged face. 

"Maybe together, we won't have to feel any of those things anymore." 

He opened his eyes, lifted his head and moved back so that he could look at her. He offered her a genuine smile and nodded. He then hugged her fiercely, and she hugged him right back. 

Daisuke held onto her, afraid she might disappear, or this was just some wonderful dream. Miyako held onto him just as tightly. 

They both gazed up and whispered a silent 'thank you' to the stars. 

_And I have felt the same_   
_As you, I've felt the same_   
_As you, I've felt the same_   


The End   


More Author's Notes: Hope you liked it. Next on tap is the second chapter to 'Camera One' and 'Bracelets.' Until next time.   


"Silence makes the real conversations between friends. Not the saying, but the never needing to say, is what counts." - Margaret Lee Ronbeck 

"Each friend represents a world in us, a world possibly not born until they arrive, and it is only by this meeting that a new world is born." - Anais Nin   
  
  
  
  
  
  



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